This post will probably be my favorite for a while, as it's something I hold close to my heart. I have struggled with my idea of becoming a man since I was thirteen years old and realized that I wasn't going to be babied forever. In our early teen years, it's our job as young men to understand the positives and negatives of those around us. We need to be able to apply our own knowledge in addition to what we gain from our peers. I believe that young men lose sight of that without a father figure or a good role model to take after. There are many characteristics that make up a great man, and they don't necessarily need to be followed religiously. However, if you are struggling to identify what it means to be a man, I hope you are able to take this post to heart.
A great man is not a celebrity. That isn't to say that a great man can't be a celebrity, there are many great men that are celebrities who had to struggle and fail just like the rest of us. The celebrity doesn't make the man though, the man makes the celebrity. Which goes to say, aspiring to be a celebrity, famous in some aspect, or having fans could be technically incorrect. It's a hard gamble where you could lose development of yourself in the process. A great man is something you work towards being, just like you would work towards your dream profession, or a life of riches. A great man is not an idea that will fall into your lap, it's something you discover through self evaluation and trial.
A great man is a protector. Let me first specify by saying that that doesn't mean only in a physical aspect. For those that can protect the ones you love physically, more power to you. In addition to that, I also ask that you learn the other ways to protect the ones around you. Protecting the emotions of those around you or the ideas and dreams that they hold close. Protecting could mean you lessen the pain in some aspects to keep them from getting hurt, or you could let them learn their lessons and pick them back up after. Protect them as people and who they want to be, keep them moving forward, and when they struggle you bare the weight of their load. You don't need to ask for anything in return when you become a protector, the fact that people around you are doing well will be more than enough. And if you are putting your best self forth, you'll be rewarded in unimaginable ways.
A great man listens instead of just hearing. This is something I'll always be grateful to my mother for. How many of you have been guilty of having not really listening? Your girlfriend, wife, female friends, or mother talk to you without you paying attention to a word they're saying. Women like to talk, that's something we as men will have to get used to, their will always be women in our life. Any mature woman could admit that just as any mature man could admit that we can be selfish or rude when it comes to listening to their feelings or thoughts. The solution to this is simply saying yes or no. Sometimes you don't want to listen, and that's perfectly okay. In fact, it's actually encouraged. For those times you do say yes, and you are able to listen intently while engaging in the conversation, the perception of you will drastically change, especially if it's something you are just starting to do. Admittedly, you'll still catch yourself dozing off or thinking about whether or not your teams draft picks will push your towards the playoffs this year. It's alright, none of us are perfect and we choose to be selfish every now and again. That behavior and how you conduct your listening skills will lead to a certain understanding between you and your developing relationship.
A great man understands how to understand. That phrase was worded a bit strangely but stay with me. I wrote at the end of the last entry about developing relationships. Outside of the relationships you have with the women in your life, every relationship you have will grow and change. Hell, you might not treat your dog the same way in a few weeks, which might be strange at first but I can assure you it's okay. Think of how much you've changed as an individual in the last few days. It may not be that much, maybe you are trying a new deodorant. Now take that same idea and stretch it to a few weeks, or months, take it even further and look at it in years. Think of all the recent relationships you've made and how much there is to know about this new person. You'll learn to understand that you have a lot of differences and similarities moving forward. It's an absolute necessity that you attempt to understand who they are as an individual, which also applies to your current relationships. You need to understand that any given time, the group of people you surround yourself with have thousands of different emotions. Don't drive in the idea that you need to know everything immediately, that could lead to some uncomfortable issues. However, let it be known that you are there to understand and you hope that they can offer you the same support in the future.
A great man never stops working. If you've read a handful of my posts, you'll begin to understand that the meanings go a bit deeper than the short intro sentences I write at the beginning of paragraphs. In this aspect of work, it means a great man never stops working to become a better man. They find a way to keep growing, they find a way to keep themselves engaged in life, they let themselves feel vulnerable from time to time, they admit personal issues to themselves and they work to fix them. There are so many drastically different elements to what makes up a good man, but a great man will never stop working. Keep pushing, keep your goals in mind, and work relentlessly. Work until your hands get tired or your brain turns into a raisin. Take the time to recuperate and get back up. Get back up, start kicking ass, and work. Work until you become the best man you could be. When you finally reach that goal, hold your head high, relax your shoulders, and know you can become even better.
Part of being a great man is knowing to WashYourAss,
- Noble
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