Men desire to be wanted, almost to an uncomfortable level. If you disagree with my previous statement you might be lying to yourself. Men go out of their ways to impress, entertain, or drive attention in their direction. When they are unable to find worth or attention, a self loathing sympathetic type of "depression" begins to form. The difference between normal depression and this type of faux depression, is men finding themselves disheartened because of their lack of purpose.
Purpose goes hand in hand with self worth. People need to be needed and want to be wanted. Specifically in men, we need to feel as if we are contributing to the task as hand. We enjoy having a place and being thought about. In addition, we find ourselves wanting to be "the guy" for whatever our group might need. Men have the concept of becoming the alpha male, leading to stubborn behavior when it comes to growth in ourselves and among our peers. On the contrary, women often share and work together as a team, taking the time to build themselves up as a unit. This alpha male mindset becomes an issue in men, specifically when a new party is introduced. If the new guy happens to be better at something we pride ourselves on, the first instincts may be to challenge them or shut down. The reason we had for being in this group no longer exists. This lack of self worth spirals into a lack of purpose and a type of "depression." Men are stupid.
I've put "depression" in quotes twice now attempting to show the difference between the two. Henceforth there will be true depression and "depression" will be considered laziness. I'm using the argument of mental health here because I strongly believe in helping those with mental illness. However, I become concerned and frustrated when men confuse mental illness with a laziness and a lack of purpose. This approach becomes unfair to those actually struggling and creates more unnecessary stigmas about mental health issues. I've seen both sides of the coin and dealt with both. I've had my battle with depression as most young teens do and I've also been lazy and moping, blaming it on imaginary mental illness. I had convinced myself on multiple occasions of mental issues to protect myself of the outside world. It's frustrating but relieving to admit. I want men to know setting up mental barriers and protecting yourself isn't the same as being consumed and trapped by those same ideas. I'd like men to ask themselves the difference between the two and how they can challenged themselves to cast aside their laziness.
How do you find purpose? The simple answer is to start by jumping. Throw yourself into anything and everything willing to take you. Pick up a new hobby, relentlessly study, challenge your own mindset, or dive deeper into work. I'm trying to attack your mindset with this post because I myself am still struggling with purpose. You may be like me in which you give yourself a million and one things to do but you cant quite quench your thirst. Maybe you are a bit luckier than me and your purpose lies right in front of your eyes but you are yet to test it. Maybe we'll share a good laugh because we will both fall into our own a week from writing this. To be a bit more personal. my favorite thing about writing these posts is I can put my own vulnerability on the line to struggle with you. I'm testing myself along with each of you for the sake of learning together. I'd like to continue share in the knowledge I felt I hadn't received when I was struggling. Take a breather and work with me here. We can figure it out together.
Find your purpose and WashYourAss
- Noble
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