Men are born into this world to correct the sins of our fathers. We of course are unique individuals and forge our own path, however our name will always be synonymous with our fathers. Whether we have to live in their shadows and create our own glory or right their laundry lists of wrongs. Men are here to generate that legacy for themselves.
Let me elaborate on the word sin. It doesn't necessarily mean that our fathers were making wrong decisions left and right. On the contrary, sins are just another word for mistakes. Your father could be a great man, but any great man will remember his mistakes well enough to keep him on the correct path. And that is where you as the son comes in. No matter what your age, if you are able to keep yourself open and aware, you'll learn from the mistakes.
The reason this topic is so near and dear to me is because I had this conversation with my own father a year or two ago. We were talking about what it really means to be a man and how my generation can learn from his. Him and I are forty years apart, a huge gap in terms of knowledge and time gained from this earth. When we went further into depth in the conversation, we were discussing the correct way to treat women. I was thinking about all the manners I had learned from my parents when I was younger. How to properly speak to and care for someone that I planned to make in a relationship with. As I got further in depth about how considerate I'd like to be or what things I'd like to do differently than his generation, he laughed at me. I was of course curious, like anyone might be, so I asked why he was laughing.
"I had to make sure not hit women and I was better than most of the men around me," he had said to me. That statement absolutely blew my mind, I found myself speechless. Not because of the severity of how women used to be treated, that in itself was a given, but I had never genuinely thought about it. When my father was younger it was still standard practice to beat your wife or girlfriend if they had been acting in a way which you found unappealing. He pressed that even further and asked me to imagine fifty years before him with his father. And fifty years before that, further down our lineage. I was flabbergasted.
Whereas now, I make sure to tend to the emotional needs of someone I'm interested in. I try and provide when necessary or make sure to remember my respectful mannerisms. Stuff that I feel might be general knowledge or stuff that I push a little bit further to make sure I'm a suitable partner. This theory might have been considered lunacy two hundred years ago. Being a "good guy" could have meant making sure that your wife ate once a week, that you didn't beat her within an inch of her life, or maybe you didn't sell her to slavery.
With all that in mind, I'd like to repeat your father could be an amazing man. There are generational issues that will separate themselves over time. You may ask them what they view as their wrongs and how to fix them. I know I've learned a handful from my own father just by asking and I'll be sure to have this conversation in the future. Thirty years down the line when I'm having this conversation with my kids, they might look me in the eye and say. "What the fuck was wrong with you guys?"
Work through the sins and WashYourAss
- Noble
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