Seeing as this is the first post for "Manly Tips" I'll give a quick rundown of what you can expect. Although the title is pretty self explanatory, I'll take it a step further. These specific posts may just be quick tips or step by step processes, depending on the topic. With that being said, I'd like to talk about, what it means to have a good handshake and the power of a handshake. There are many of us that learned early on what it really means to have a good handshake. Our fathers instilled it within us as soon as we could walk, or we learned from the "manly men" in our life pretty early on. There is a lot more to being a man than just a good handshake, however that doesn't mean we are going to skip one of the simplest to act on. Think of an elf, traditionally an elegant and mystical creature. Now that you have that image in your mind, I'm going to run you through the E.L.F.
"E" is for eye contact. Shaking hands is a greeting, you are introducing yourself in the quickest way possible, to leave the best impression you can in that short few seconds. If you had to choose between a few moments of eye contact, which some of you may find uncomfortable. Or you could put your head on a swivel and see if that same person is still interested in getting to talk to you. It's in that few moments that you are sharing each other's attention, it's crucial to make that count.
"L" is for length. While eye contact may be crucial, I believe length is the most important concept to not mess up. I'm asking this personally, to save you from the awkward mistakes, please don't hold a handshake for more than a few seconds. We'll put the absolute maximum time limit at five seconds, but even that is stretching it a little bit. Have you ever seen a handshake go on for to long, or god forbid been in that situation? It's really uncomfortable, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. If someone is holding it for too long, feel free to break away, unless they are gripping your hand like their life depends on it...
"F" is for firmness. I've experienced a lot of good handshakes in my life, and probably a lot of bad ones. I've also admittedly been a part of a, handful, of bad ones. Hoping I didn't lose you with that weak joke, let's get to the first firmness issues. You definitely don't want to be the guy with the owl head nor do you want your hands to "get to know each other." The reason I left the last paragraph in a trailed thought is for the menaces of handshakes. The limp wrists and the vice grips. Speaking first on the limp wrists, they are not nearly as bad. It just means they never probably learned how to give a handshake. And in this scenario, if you end up getting to know this person further, or just generally feel like giving tips, here's a simple solution. Tell them to think about a handshake like you are ready to throw a ball. Baseball, tennis ball, football, doesn't matter. You need adequate grip and firmness to hold onto the ball and when you are ready, you release. The absolute most important thing is that, you do in fact release.
That'll bring us to a close with the handshake douche. Mess up everything else in "E.L.F" before you become the handshake douche. If you've shook a hand twenty times in your life you've probably dealt with this guy at least once or twice. The guy that jerks your shoulder around, clasps his fingers around your wrist, or absolutely refuses to let go, even if his life depended on it. If this is a person you care for, let them no respectfully and swiftly. You don't need a handshake douche in your life and if they care enough about themselves, there's a good chance they'll stop. In the case that they continue this practice, or they are a known handshake douche, you have a few options.
1. Tell them bluntly that they are making you uncomfortable and you need them to stop.
2. Reach in with your opposite hand, for a double handed handshake and push on their center of their wrist, on the main veins with your thumb, or if you are a female, use your sharp nails.
3. If the first two options fail, go for the infallible third. Kick them in the shin. Or if it's a man, give a solid kick to make sure he can't reproduce and bring his shitty handshake measures to a new generation
Remember E.L.F. and to always WashYourAss
- Noble
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