Manly Tips: Just Talk

There is a terrible stigma about men holding onto their feelings. The older you are, it seems the less comfortable you are allowed to be with sharing. It fell into a generational issue, where men forty years or older might look down on someone around the age of twenty as a pussy or a pansy. Generational gaps make sense, I can understand that to a degree, but there are way more prevalent issues shunning young men for talking.

It starts with a small problem, then they let it build. They let it build to the point where it affects their daily lives, where they are acting differently towards everyone around them. They are treating their own bodies differently in addition to adding new negative habits. These negative habits snowball their issues, which continue to keep building upon themselves. And then their is a straw that ends up breaking the camel's back. Major or minor, these issues consume their identities and they make mistakes. With the worst possible mistake leading to suicide. From AFSP -

• Men die by suicide 3.53x more often than women. 

• White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2016.

• The rate of suicide is highest in middle age — white men in particular.

The discussion here should not be focused on race or ethnicity. Men are feeling powerless enough to make the ultimate decision. A decision that will cost them their life. The issue is not so simple as to say, if they just talked it out everything could be solved. If it were that easy, we'd still have a lot of good men around. The issue lies in the fact that talking things out for a man seems to be frowned upon. I've personally always been jealous that women are able to talk out their feelings among there friends groups. With my male friends, hell even within myself, men have to work up slowly to actually talking things out. 

However, that is more so a positive than a negative. No matter how long it may take me, or how much convincing I have to receive or offer, it'll always be worth it. It's a constant constriction on the heart to bottle things up. Stuffing things further down won't cure any of the issues, you'll hold onto them, whether that be consciously or subconsciously, the issues will remain. And with the issues remaining dormant, they'll eventually boil over.  

This post is a PSA to all men out there, it's time to talk. It's a movement that I would love to be a part of going forward because it holds close to home. Take the time to be vulnerable and admit to yourself that it's time to talk. You don't need to jump into the deepest parts of your life right away, but you can let your friends know that sometimes you just want to be alone. Or that something your significant other did made you uncomfortable. Or maybe you've had issues with your family here and there that you've let build up. Good and honest people will reciprocate this feeling with open arms. Even if the person you are talking to isn't quite ready to talk with you, give them the time. Give them the same respect they gave you when they offered to listen. Just talk, please, it'll change your life for the better.

Just Talk and don't forget to WashYourAss

- Noble