Learn to cry. For some of you this may seem like the simplest post I've ever written, others may think that I'm a little bit insane for telling men to cry. Shockingly, it's okay for men to cry. Now, I know I may have blown your mind with that last sentence, but guess what. It's okay for men to cry just like its okay for them to get their nails done, take ballet, or order a cosmopolitan at the bar.
What I'm saying is that it's okay to cry, but not to cry and move on. Men have a habit of bottling things up, exploding and breaking down, healing temporarily and repeating the cycle all over. Crying doesn't make you weak or less of a man, it's a human emotion to feel sadness. And men are not gods and we certainly aren't robots, we feel and care just like anybody else.
Taking that a step further, allow yourself to feel. Too often do men have the issue of allowing themselves to feel, but like I said in the last paragraph, it's only temporary. There is nothing wrong with sitting in the shower and letting the water fall over you. Eating comfort foods or watching sad movies fall in the same category. Allow yourself that sadness and that fear, anger, hatred, whatever you may be feeling. Men try and struggle to hold their emotions in or they stumble upon the issue of toughing it out. Why? What is the point? You don't need to necessarily cry in front of everyone and you don't need to be overly emotional the point where it's gross and uncomfortable to be around. But why? Why don't men allow themselves to feel that pain through tears?
Every answer leads back towards judgement. Men are afraid to lose their "man card" and be seen as a pussy. Also while I'm on the topic, let me eviscerate the use of the word pussy. Being a pussy does not involve doing girly things, being bad at a sport, crying during movies, being in touch with your emotions, or being considerate of your partners feelings. There is a whole laundry list of things that don't make you a pussy. However, what does make you a pussy is, consistently putting down and attacking others, not being the man you were brought up to be and failing to take care of those around you. Being a pussy is not learning from your mistakes and being guilty of repeating them. Being a pussy is not following up on easy opportunities because of your fears. Being a pussy has nothing to do with being feminine, emotionally available, or being comfortable with your sexuality. Being a pussy is living in fear and judgement.
Now that we smashed the usage of that word, let's get back on track. From one man to another, it's okay for you to be hurting right now. We don't necessarily know when you'll feel better, but that's okay. Take your time away, take your time to hurt, come back stronger and come back a better man. For the sake of the relationships you value, but mostly for your individual self. Learning to accept that pain is a difficult task to start, but it's priceless when you discover it. A strong future partner will always appreciate a man who is in touch with their emotional side. Apply it to the abundance of movies or television you've seen. In which the man has put up his walls and the woman needs to "fix" him. A proper relationship shows fault on both sides in that situation.
Remember that the path to emotional stability, like most things, start withing you. So do yourself a favor and cry.
Don't tough it out and WashYourAss
- Noble
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